


You left me broken

by wicked_pretzel



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:15:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wicked_pretzel/pseuds/wicked_pretzel
Summary: When Kya returns to Republic City to help after Kuviras attack, she is forced to deal with her long lost love.





	1. Chapter 1

As soon as Kya received Tenzins call for help, she went on an airship to Republic City. As the ship came closer, she was shocked by the huge damage, but as her eyes felt on the new spirit portal she was amazed. Her father would have been so happy.... Then she saw the massive amount of tents and emergency shelters and yet again couldn´t believe what Kuvira had done. So many people, who lost their homes. It was heartbreaking.

Tenzin already awaited her, when the airship landed. "Kya, it´s good to see you. I´d prefer to give you some rest after your journey, but there are so many injured..."  
"Don´t worry, I´m here to help anyway, so where should I start?" 

Tenzin twirled his beart, like always when he was thinking. "Well, actually I have no idea. I can get you to Zhu-Li, she ´s managing everything right now."

"Alright. Lead the way" They were going some time in quiet when Kya thought about what Tenzin just said. "Isn´t Zhu-Li supposed to be on her honeymoon? She married Varrick just two days ago, didn´t she?"

"I suppose that´s what she´d love to do, but without her, chaos would probably spread and she said her honeymoon can wait, the people don´t." 

"That´s very nice of her. And Korra? How is she? After her last fight..." Kya remembered how bad the Avatar had looked. How hard Katara had tried to help her, yet it took three years and she had to fight again immediately.

"Oh, she´s fine. Of course she´s not at the top , but she went on a vacation to the spirit world with Asami. She´ll be totally fine, once she had some rest."  
Kya smiled knowingly. "Asami, hm? That´s great."

"I know. It´s wonderful, that she has such good friends. " Tenzin had no idea. Well it wasn´t up to Kya to tell him, that Asami and Korra probably weren´t just friends.They arrived at a big tent.  
"Zhu-Li is inside. I have other chores, but I see you later for dinner. Good bye, Kya." The airbender went on, heading to the spirit portal. 

"Bye." 

-

It was pretty late, when Kya arrived on the Island. She had spent the whole afternoon and evening with healing the worst-injured. But it took time to take care of big wounds and she only managed to help 7 people. It was terrible, so she tried to think about something else. Korra and Asami... that was really interesting, but not too surprising for the waterbender. After Korras injuries, they had spent every minute together, till Korra left to recover. And from their looks, Kya could tell they meant very much to each other. Good thing that they finally managed to be together. Well, at least Kya was pretty sure they were.  
She really hoped they wouldn´t have to face the same struggles she had with her first girlfriend. Some people were homophobe to levels beyond imagination and in the end it had cost her her first relationship. Kya had learned since then to keep things even more private than before and only showed intimacy with lovers under private circumstances. It was hard, because "normal" people got to hold hands and share kisses everywhere, without anyone thinking it was unnatural. Ultimately however she learned to deal with it, her family was supportive and at least around them she was able to be herself. Also Republic City had several spots where she could meet new people, who understood her and that was enough for her.  
Over her life Kya had several relationships and though they were always full of love, none of them lasted longer than a few years. It was her fault, she knew that. At a certain point all her girlfriends wanted to settle down and stop travelling the world, but Kya knew she would never be able to give them what they deserved. None of them would ever be her, even if she loved all of them. There was only one woman her heart truely desired for decades now. Travelling was the only way for her to feel free, at least to think she could maybe forget her. Once she tried to stay with a woman from the earth kingdom. Mian-Su was her partner for five years and their bond was deeper than any Kya had in a relationship before, but only six months after settling down she fled again, not able to shut down the feeling of being trapped.  
Then her father died. She loved him, although their relationship was never easy since Tenzin turned out to be an airbender and her father gave the little boy most of his attention. Kya knew that Aang was desperate to let the Air Nation rise again. That the pain of loosing all of his people never stopped and he had always felt guilt for not being able to protect his people. But she was a little girl and admired and needed her father. Sometimes she really hated Tenzin for taking him, even if he wasn´t responsible. At least she had her mother, with whome she was connected through the gift of waterbending, unlike Bumi, who started to do anything for attention. Anyway when Aang died, she felt terrible. Her dad wasn´t the best father, but no one had supported her more than him, after discovering her sexuality and he was after all her father. He really tried, even if his dutys always got in the way. Then she saw Kataras grief and knew she had to stay. Her mother was the most important person for her and she would do anything to help her get through the agonizing pain. Kya had never been able to forget her feelings for a certain woman, but helping her mother was more important than her own faith. After several years she accepted to always feel a void deep inside and was able to find some kind of happiness in the south pole. 

Now, 21 years later, Kya still lived there. Her nieces and nephews had given her life a new joy and after finally making peace with Tenzin and getting to see her fathers nation to rise again, she thought she could finally spend the rest of her years with inner peace, but the void stayed and thinking about the time she tried to escape made her aware of it for the first time in years. How could she still feel like this? After all that happened, after all the love she had received. But of course you can´t forget someone you knew your whole life and who grew up with you. Someone who would always be a part of your family. Kya tried to stop the grief from rising inside her. "At least let me get to my room first. I don´t want to explain anything to anyone right now. I don´t even understand it by myself completely. So many years..."  
When turning around the corner she bumped right into someone and almost fell to the floor, but strong hands catched her and pulled Kya up again, holding her by the shoulders till she had a steady stand.

"Careful there,Kya. You´ve always been too reckless." 

A shock went through Kyas body. Why her? Why not anybody, everybody else, but her? She coughed. "Yeah, sorry, I was just heading for my room. See you around, I guess."

"Wait maybe you can help me, I really need to talk to Tenzin about -"

"Sorry, I don´t know, where he is, so if you let me get through now, it would be great."

Lin Beifong raised an eyebrow. "Since when are you so rude? Doesn´t fit you."

No, it wasn´t like Kya to be likethis for no reason, but right now she was on the brink of an emotional breakdown and the reason for it was in her way. Therefore she thought her behavior was justified. "Well we haven´t really spoken in decades. Maybe you just don´t know me, like you think you do. So, please, would you let me pass now?"

"Sure, whatever calm down." The earthbender stepped aside. "Maybe we can..."

But Kya didn´t listen, as she rushed into her room and finally broke down on her bed, letting the pain get ahold of her. After a few minutes someone knocked on her door, but she didn´t answer. The door was opened and someone walked to her bed, sitting down on the side.

"I saw you bumping into a certain woman, so I figured you might need someone now."

Kya looked up. Her older brother might was like a wild, big child most of the time, but when it came to his sister he always stood up for her. He understood her better than anyone, in many cases even better than their mother.

"I don´t understand it, Bumi. I mean, it´s been so many years and I still can´t get over it." The first tear rolled down her cheek, as Kya tried to express her pain. 

"I think it´s because when you love someone with all your heart, you never really loose that feeling. And I don´t know many people, who are capable of having such deep feelings like you , even if you can get pretty fierce." Bumi pulled his sister against his chest, holding her tight.

"But why won´t it get easier? I´ve been living with it for so long. I even found love in others. Kyas voice cracked, tears were running down her face. "My feelings haven´t overwhelmed me like this for many years. The pain was always there, but I learned to ignore it."

"You never had to face her." He gently stroke her back. 

"No, that´s not it. After Zaheer I saw her. I didn´t break down like now."

"But you left again and didn´t talk to her at all. Now that you´re helping with rebuilding the city, you know that eventually you´ll have to face her. You know why she helped me out of that cave and not you? Even though she likes you way more? She feels it. Lin may not be an expert in feelings, but you were once very close and she knows you don´t want to be around her."

For a while Kya just cried against her brothers chest, trying to pull strength from his embrace.

"I´m a terrible friend." Although the tears were still running, Kya was able to breath again. Her brother may be an idiot, but he always had been able to buck her up again, just by being there.

"You´re just trying to protect yourself." 

"I can´t believe how wise you can sometimes be." They loosened their embrace and looked at each other. Kya now with a forced smile. "Thank you, Bumi. I think I don´t appreciate your presence enough. Without you, I probably would have been lost back then." 

"Yeah, I´m a pretty good brother and don´t worry most people underestimate my many talents." Now Bumi got back to his quirky, more annoying self.

"Well mister talent, I´d like to freshen up myself now. I can´t have dinner like this. So if you don´t mind, I need some privacy." Kya tried to push her brother out, but he turned around again.

"Don´t hesitate to come whenever you need me, ok?"

"Ok. Thank you Bumi."

 

After a very quick dinner, due to the late hour, Kya went to the small cliffs on the island. It was a clear night, the stars shining and the water below her calm. The perfect place and time for the waterbender to clear her mind. She thought of a happier time. A time when she and Lin were indeed very close. Best friends, who sticked together to endure their personal problems. Lin struggled with her mother and sister. Kya with her father and younger brother. Despite Kya being three years older, they got along pretty well. Of course Lin always had been mature and therefore it probably would have been a problem if they were the same age. Like this however, it was perfect. For a very long time it was nothing more than friendship from Kyas side as well. It all changed within just one day, she was 20 by that time and during their usual workout her friend seemed distracted, which was very strange. Physical exercises were her favorite activity and normally she took it pretty serious. That day she was constantly knocked down by the simplest waterbending moves.

"Lin, what´s going on with you? I´ve never been able to take you down without great effort and now I probably don´t even need my bending to do so."

"I ´m just thinking. And you´d never take me down with bare hands. I´d crush you."

"Ha, we´ll see Linnie."

Lin hated that name. She grunted and got concentrated again. When the waterbender tried to pull away her opponents leg, she felt how her own leg was lifted into the air and felt down on her back. Lin lost no time and sat down on her, pinning her arms to the ground.

"Told you, I would crush you." She briefly smiled in triumph, but then suddenly loosened her grip and Kya was able to free her hands. Now Lin was absent again.

"Kya, you need to keep a secret for me." There was so much fear in her green eyes, as she slid down from Kya so she could get up and sit next to her. 

The waterbender layed a hand on the other girls shoulder. "Of course. Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me. Or hit me, I know that´s easier for you." Kya smirked, which normally Lin would too and punch the waterbender in the side. But now she was just sitting there, pulling her arms around her knees. But Kya could wait. She knew not to take pressure on any Beifong.  
Finally, after about half an hour, Lin sighed. "It´s stupid. I hate that it makes me insecure, but I can´t do anything against it."

Kya hoped a joke would help Lin to relax. It probably would have, but it was the wrong one. "Don´t tell me you have a crush on someone." When her friend didn´t answer, she knew she was right. "Oh I´m sorry Lin. I didn´t know..."

Lin got up, ready to leave."Like I said, it´s stupid. No one sees me as a love-interest. No one even wants to be my friend."  
Kya jumped up, grabbing her hand. "That´s not true! I am your friend. And I really like you!"  
For a very brief moment Kya thought Lin would relax again, but then her face suddenly turned stone hart and her eyes got cold. "Just because you have no other choice. If our parents weren´t so close, you would tattle about the strange Beifong too! And since your friends found out, how you are, they´re treating you like you have a contagious disease. You simply have no one else!" 

Pain and shock hit Kya and she stumbled back. She couldn´t believe what Lin just said. How could she think she was just a substitute? After all they´ve been through together, after all the memories they´ve shared, the fun they had. How could she?

"Found out how I am?... so that´s how you see me. I understand. Don´t worry, I wont bother you with my presence anymore. Goodbye Beifong." 

There was no way she would cry. Not in front of Lin. She turned around. Walking away with her head up. Slowly, so it wouldn´t seem like she tried to escape. As soon as she was out of sight however, she started to run. Tears were filing her eyes and her heart was ripped apart. When she arrived at the small cliffs she fell down, broken and unable to move. While she was lying there, staring at the sundown and no tears left, Kya tried to understand, why it hurt so much. Of course Lin had been her best friend for years and they had experienced so much together, but it hadn´t hurt just nearly as much when many of her friends turned their backs on Kya, after she came out to them, like Lins betrayal now. Why? Why was she so much more important than her other friends...  
When the sun finally dissapeared behind the horizon, steps were approaching. Kya sat up and tried to hide her tears, but then she saw it was Bumi coming towards her and she´ve never been able to hide her feelings from him. He said nothing just sat next to her and hold her, like he always had when his little sister was hurt. The gentle touch of her brother brought back the tears and she let them fall, sobbing and crying. After a while she was able to calm down a bit, though tears were still quietly running down her face. 

"What happened, Kya? We were looking for you everywhere." Bumis soft voice together with his embrace gave Kya the strength to answer.

"Lin. She thinks she´s just a substitute for me. She thinks I don´t like her at all, that I just have no other option." Her voice almost broke again.

"She has no idea, how much she means to you, has she?" How could Bumi know something, Kya had just found out herself?

"I love her." Of course she did. Through all those years, her love for Lin had grown and grown, but Kya just didn´t want to admit it. She didn´t want to loose her best friend, so she refused to even think about it. But when hurt so badly, she realized how deep her feelings truly were. "She can never know, Bumi. No one can. Promise me, please."

"But don´t you think, she may-"

"No. Never. I won´t let her hurt me ever again. I can´t. It´s too much." In the end her voise was just a whisper. "Please, promise me."

"I promise. And I´ll always be there for you." 

They stayed on the cliff, for the rest of the night. A brother trying to comfort his sister, who cried again and again, till the sun rose. Then she wiped her tears away and stood up. No one except Bumi ever knew what happened that day.  
Just a few weeks later Kya was ready to leave Republic City. She told her parents she needed to find out, who she really was, which was true. But no one, except Bumi knew the other reason. Lin Beifong had broken her heart. The earthbender never returned to Air temple Island, before Kya had left back then. Never tried to contact Kya. Never apologised. And Kya couldn´t stand being there anymore, with all the memories and the constant danger of facing Lin. It was cowardly, but it was necessary.  
A few years later, on a visit to her family, it was the first time they spoke since then. Kya simply congratulated her and Tenzin and wished them good luck for their relationship, but on the inside she died once again, breaking down the second time because of Lin Beifong.  
When Tenzin broke up with Lin and told her how devestated Lin was, Kya forgot her own feelings and tried to pep her up again. When she visited Lin however, all she got was a "Piss off" and the door was shut in her face. Kya broke down a third time. She left once again and never spoke to Lin again, only seeing her shortly during the crisis with the Red Lotus.  
Just a few hours ago, Kya broke down the forth time.  
"How can you still have such an impact on me, Lin Beifong? Just a look and you hurt me so much again." Kya spoke out loud, as if she could get Lin out of her mind together with the words. "How?"

 

In a small appartment in Republic City, Lin Beifong was restless. She went to bed hours ago, but couldn´t stop thinking. After she ran into Kya today, her mind kept circling back to her and how terrible Lin had treated her decades ago.  
Their friendship had been perfect and Lin knew she was the one who tore it apart. It was the first time she destroyed a relationship, but it wasn´t the last time. In the end her fear of being hurt always was, what brought her pain in the end. In time she learned to get along with it, using anger to compensate any negative feelings.  
The only time she ever really broke down, where she cried and felt incredible sadness, not rage,was when she lost Kya. It was the stupidest thing she had ever done, because what she said back then wasn´t true and even after it was out Kya would have probably been able to forgive her, if she had apologized to her and explained everything. The fear however kept Lin from trying and a few weeks after the incident her mother told her "the little watergirl" was gone. After that Lin always wondered, if Kya would have stayed, if they hadn´t argued, but quickly shove that thought away. "I´m not that important to her, she always told me she wanted to travel."  
She never told Kya, who she had a crush on. The waterbender probably thought it was Tenzin though, after they got together. Her feelings for Tenzin however, had only grown, when Kya left. Suddenly she had nobody to talk to, even though she never really minded that anyway. It had been wonderful to have a safe place, but with her stupidity she destroyed that. It was then when Tenzin stepped in and although she never was able to talk with him like with Kya, he became her new safe place.  
It took him four years until Lin was ready to go out with him the first time. Four years til Lin was able to let someone in her heart again, but four years still hadn´t been enough to forget the other one in her heart. It was cruel and selfish, but she hoped that with time, Tenzin would be the only one she loved. And after more than a decade, she was almost ready to forget. Then Tenzin had dumped her and altough it didn´t hurt as much as the first time it was still incredible painful. Air Temple Island experienced her full rage, but when she went home, she felt empty. How could she ever think of replacing Kya with Tenzin? Probably because she thought he was a loyal soul, who would never ever hurt someone. Lin hated herself for being so stupid. They´ve never matched together.  
The only one, who had truely annd deeply, without even trying, touched her heart was Kya. Lin wanted to tell her, but when she was there she was too afraid of rejection. So she did, what she´s always done: she hurt Kya, so she wouldn´t be able to hurt Lin. How stupid she was. The pain in Kyas eyes... She couldn´t believe that Lin was that cruel to her. It broke Lin too. Never had she thought anothers feelings could affect her like that and there was probably really no other than Kya who could. She never tried to make things up with Kya. She was a coward and was punished for it again, when she tried to use Tenzin to forget. But Kya, she showed up, after all those years, ready to support Lin, despite everything she had done. Yet again she shut the waterbender out of her life. It was the last time they ever spoken to each other, if you can really call it that, and Lin only saw Kya again when Zaheer attacked. Seeing the waterbender nearly dead crushed her heart, but yet again she ignored her and just watched her leaving again.  
Today she tried to talk to her, hoping that they may be able to have at least some kind of friendship, but Kya clearly had no interest. Which was completely understanable, given how she had been treated, but yet again Lin was unable to get the waterbender out of her head. She should have been honest about her feelings back then, since Kya would probably never have ended their friendship because of them. It may have been awkward, she would probably still have gone on her journeys, but Lin would still be able to be in her life.  
Like many nights before, the waterbender was the last thing on Lin Beifongs mind, before gliding into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After dinner at Air Temple Island, Lin tries to find some courage to talk about her feelings

When Kya woke up the next morning, she still felt terribly vunlerable. For a moment she thought of just lying in bed all day, but then all the injured and homeless people came back into her mind, who shouldn´t suffer unnecessarily for an over-emotional old woman. And it wouldn´t help Kya either, to wallow in self-pity, after all she was a strong and independent woman and able to deal with her feelings - at least as long as Lin wouldn´t show up.

 

After some hours of healing Kya already felt much better. The distraction, but mostly helping others gave her a good feeling again and when she returned to Air Temple Island, the waterbender felt pretty good. And also exhausted and hungry, so she headed to the dining room immediately, hoping that dinner would be ready soon. 

"Hello Pema, oh that smells so nice!" When entering the kitchen, the wonderful smell of fried vegetables and rice surrounded her. "Can I help you somehow?"

"Kya, hi. Thanks for asking, but I´m almost done. I just have to make sure I don´t burn anything, till the vegetables are done. You could give me some company though, that would be nice."

"I´d be glad to. I think it´s amazing, how you take care of everything here. Four airbending kids have to be hard work. And you have to deal with a dull and prosily husband too. I´m often wondering how he got you." Kya winked at the yonger woman.

"Come on, don´t tease him. He´s a wonderful husband and it´s more like I´m happy I got him." Pema blushed. "Or that I didn´t end up in prison."

She couldn´t know, but that was a story Kya didn´t like to talk about, so she completely ignored that part. "I know, it was just always incredible funny to provoke him and I still love it. I have to get ready for my little baby brother." 

"I have to admit it is funny when he´s pouting. Just don´t give him a too hard time, please." Both women laughed.

"Even if I´m not teasing him, he still has to deal with Bumi."

"No one can deal with me, my reflexes are too fast." Bumi was walking into the room, a confident smile on his face. "Have I ever told you the story, how I defeated five of the strongest men in my troop, when we had a little contest to find out, who was the best hand-to-hand-fighter. Those were some really hard matches, but I had a perfect strategy and knew I needed speed to beat their strenght. So I-"

"Of course you have." Kyas voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Now, do you want something?"

"Hmpf. I just came to check, if dinner´s ready. Everyone´s waiting. And I´m starving." He went over to the stove and tried to put his finger in the sauce to test it, but Pema qickly hit his fingers.

"Don´t you dare, stick your hands in my food. It´s ready now, so you can help us getting everything to the table."

"Ok, ok I´m sorry. It just smells so delicious." Bumi grabbed the sauce pan and left to the dining room, followed by Pema and Kya. 

As soon as Kya entered the other room, she saw a woman with dark grey, hair and a metal police uniform sitting at the table, with her back towards the kitchen. The waterbenders heart dropped. Lin hated those big and loud dinners, with too many people squashed around the table, so why was she here? As Kya put down the vegetables on the table, she tried not to made eye contact and settled down on the left side, where she didn´t had to look at the earthbender the whole time and was away from her enough.  
Normally Kya loved those chaotic moments, when everbody wanted to be the first to get food, when the room was filled with noise and Tenzin almost freaked out, when the kids teased each other and Pema tried to calm everyone down. It was even better when more joined the meal like now. Some of the other airbenders were present, Bolin, Mako and unfotunately Lin. Kya knew, how childish it was to ignore the womans presence completely, but yesterday´s breakdown still rumbled inside her and she didnt feel confident enough to even greet the chief of police. Instead she focused on Ikki next to her, who was telling her aunt a story about some baby bisons. 

After a few minutes it got more quiet again, because everyone was now focused on eating. Then Lin cleared her throat to get everyones attention. 

"While everyone´s busy, I´d like to speak about why I actually came here, before I was forced to join " she looked around "this."

"Don´t act like you hate it, deep down you enjoy having us around." Bumi hesitated a moment, when he saw Lins face. "Well, very, very deep down."

"If you think so." Lin snorted. "Tenzin, as you know my forces are extremely busy right now. I can´t afford to send any men to guard the spirit portal, but there already have been several incidents with curious people and angry spirits. If some airbenders could guard the activities of people and spirits there, my men can concentrate on their other tasks. You´d have the authority to order people off this place."

"We´d love to help. Jinora, do you think you could gather a group and take care of this?"

"Of course, dad." Jinora still felt very proud, whenever her father trusted her with important tasks.

Lin looked to the young Air bending master and nodded. "Great, one problem less, I have to worry about. Now I can focus more on the triads, they..."

Kya stopped listening and concentrated on her food, being completely aware of every single bite she took, while staring at the tiny surface irregularities on the table and the wall, to distract herself. As soon as dinner was over Lin would leave anyway or Kya could just go to her room...

"Auntie Kya, are you alright?" The voice almost didn´t reach her consciousness, because her mind was far away. Then Someone shook her on the shoulder. "Kya! You there?"

"I´m sorry Ikki, what did you say?" It was strange to suddenly be back in a room full of people.

"Nothing, dad was talking to you, but you didn´t react, so I tried to get your attention." 

The waterbender looked over to her brother. "What is it, Tenzin?"

"Nothing important, I was just curious, how things are in the healing tents. Are you alright? You look a bit ... distracted. And you haven´t said anything. That´s unusual." The airbender looked worried.

"I´m alright, just tired. Still too many injured, and too few healers. To be honest, I´d like to go to bed now. I know you´re still eating, but I don´t feel quite well." Kya rised from the table. "I´m sorry. Good night everyone." She didn´t wait for a respond and left quickly, though she heard a mix of "good nights" and "sleep wells".

 

Lin gave a sigh of relief, when she finally was able to leave the chaotic dinner. Of course she cared for Tenzin and his family, even for Pema, but that didn´t mean she enjoyed being in the middle of their crazy family for too long. Besides having Kya around wasn´t easy either. A part of Lin pined for her presence and was dissapointed when she had left early, but mostly it reminded the earthbender of her failure to keep anyone by her side. Now she was heading to the dock, to catch the ferry to the city, when someone jumped behind her, almost knocking her to the ground, and put his arm around her neck.

"Hey chief, mind if I join you on your way? The others are busy and I´m bored." Bumi was grinning at her.

Lin tried to shake him of and snapped at him. "Get off of me, idiot!" 

He laughed and let go of her. "Alright, I don´t want to risk you bending boulders at me."

When Lin went on, he followed her, still smiling. She raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think, I´m better company than the others? And I´m about to leave anyway."

"That´s a pity. I was hoping to spend some time with you." Bumi grinned again, nudging her in the side with his elbow. "I hope you´re visiting again soon?"

"Hmpf, since when do you want to spend time with me?" Lin thought about Kya and sighed. "And I don´t think it´ll be a good idea to come here right now. I don´t think everyone here enjoys my visits."

"Because of Kya?"

Lin was shocked how calm and serious Bumi suddenly was. She looked at him and grabbed him by his shoulders. "What are you talking about? What do you know?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "What are you talking about? Everyone knows you two had a bad fight before Kya left. Just almost no one knows what happened exactly, so I think that´s why you´re so uncomfortable around each other. Or is there something else you´d like to tell me, Linnie?" Bumi wiggled his eyebrows, while Lin crossed her arms over her chest and walked away, but was once again followed.

"Is there something you´d like to tell?"

"I don´t know what you want to hear, but yes, it is akward being in a room with her. We never talked about it and by now it´s kind of late. Now leave me alone, I need to catch a ferry." Lin never thought about Bumi being this observant, but Kya used to tell her how surprising her brother could be. Hopefully he would just let go of it.

"Maybe that´s what you feel like, but you know Kya is more emotional than you." 

A sting went trough Lins heart. "What do you mean, she is more emotional? We were barely grown-up, I´m sure she doesn´t care anymore." 

"Geez Lin, you really lack any empathy. Just go and talk to her already. It was much more fun, when you two were teasing Tenzin together. Anyway, I´ll see you around, bye." He disappeared in the dark.

The whole night Lin wasn´t able to stop thinking about what Bumi had said. She tried to tell herself, that he was just a goofy old man, who never really grew up. He couldn´t knew how Lin felt and what he said about Kya being emotional meant nothing. Sure she was, but nobody would still care for someone after decades of silence and after being treated so poorly. But yet Lin still felt the same, so maybe it was possible? Though Kya never did anything wrong, unlike her, who had hurt the other woman intentionally, so if Kya still cared in any way, she would probably despise the earthbender. Well, at least that´s what Lin would do. Bumi said she lacked empathy, so how was she supposed to know, how Kya would react, if Lin tried to talk to her? 

 

The next day, Lin couldn´t believe, what she was about to do while heading towards a big tent, extremely nervous and forcing herself not to head back to the station. It was lunchtime and it was pretty busy in the camp. She couldn´t have picked a worse time, but also feared to lose her courage, if she didn´t get over with this now. Last night she had laid awake very long, until she finally decided to do something. Now she was entering the tent and met many surprised faces. 

"Lin? What are you doing here? Did something happened? You look, um, a bit distracted." 

"Seems legit with all that´s going on, don´t you think so? But don´t start panicking, everythings fine, I just need to talk to your brother."

"You want to talk with Bumi?" Calling Tenzin surprised would have been an understatement.

"You want to talk to me?" Bumi was just as surprised as his brother.

"Just come with me. I need to talk to you in private." Lin got very grumpy now. What she wanted to ask Bumi would be akward enough, so he should come aready.

"Alright, chief." 

They left the tent together, with an highly confused Tenzin watching them.

 

"So, do you have a special mission for commander Bumi?" They had settled down on the remains of a destroyed building, far away from anyone else.

"Be serious for a while, please." Why did she thought Bumi was the right one to ask for help?

"I am serious, I have no other idea, what you could want from me, that needs you to drag me out this far." He looked at Lin, absolutely clueless.

"It´s something... personal." Lin didn´t know, how to continue. 

"Come on, tell me already. I hate waiting." 

"Yesterday we talked about Kya..." Maybe he would get it and tell her what she needed to know.

"Yeah?" Apparently he didn´t get it.

Lin hadn´t felt this insecure for a long time. Normally people were nervous because of her and she was the confident one. It was a terrible feeling for her to have no control and the thought of just continuing her life returned. Kya would leave again and till then, Lin just had to avoid Air Temple Island and the refugee camp. She wouldn´t be happy, but she wouldn´t get hurt either. No, that wasn´t true. Lin had just learned to live with it, her heart ached every day, like it had before she sorted things out with Su. It was hard and she had felt terrible, but in the end it was worth it. And Kya meant so much to her, it had to be worth the risk of being rejected.

"Hey chief? You still there?" Bumi ripped her out of her thoughts.

"I was here to ask you something, but I have to figure things out on my own. You can get back to work now." 

"Seriously?" Lin didn´t listen to the annoying airbender anymore. She needed o prepare herself.

 

It was already pitch black when Kya was heading to the Island that day. She was barely able to hold her eyes open, after bending all day and only a few hours of restless sleep the night before. Her mind hadn´t been able to stop thinking about Lin. She had looked so tired and Kya was wondering if she was alright. Then she got angry about herself because she shouldn´t worry so much about a gown-up woman. Now she was thinking about her again. Kya let out a sigh of frustration and whispered to herself: "Damn you." 

She had almost reached the shore, when someone appeared in the dark. 

"Kya, can we talk?" 

"Lin. What do you want?" That sounded more hostile than Kya had intended, but she was tired.

Lin gulped and breathed in deeply. "We need to talk about our fight."

"Then talk." Kya had never thought, that she would be angry, if that conversation would finally happen, but she felt it building inside her.

"If you want to talk another time, I´m ok with it. You´re probably exhausted, I just needed to make sure I don´t back out again." Lin was about to turn around.

The anger inside Kya boilt over. She couldn´t stand one more night wondering what happened all those years ago, what Lin thought and why she had to suffer so much. 

"Oh no, we settle this now. I´m tired of you, always interrupting my inner peace. I´m tired of avoiding a conversation we should have had a long time ago. I want to know, why you said all those cruel words to me back then. Why you never even tried to fix our friendship. Did you ever even liked me? Or did you just needed someone who was able to deal with your moods?" Kya regretted to assume, Lin only used her, when she saw the others eyes briefly filled with pain, but then it made her even angrier. "And stop to hide all your emotions! If you´re hurt, show it to me, if your angry, shout at me and if you hate me, then tell me, because this makes me sick!"

For a second Kya thought Lin would just leave her there, but then the pain returned to the green eyes and the earthbender started to talk with a voice as soft, as it hadn´t been in decades. "I´m sorry, Kya. I wrecked things up, because I was scared. But I promise to you, I was your friend because I wanted to. And I´ve never stopped regretting what I´ve said to you."

All of Kyas anger just floated away. Seeing Lin hurt, was something she couldn´t stand and she was only able to whisper. "But what were you scared of? You could have trusted me with everything. You just wanted to tell me you had a crush on Tenzin. Do you think I, would have told him?"

Lin seemed a bit confused now. "Kya, I haven´t had a crush on your brother. Only years after you left. But I couldn´t tell you, who I liked. You would have stopped talking to me."

Even with an aching heart, Kya wanted to comfort Lin. She put a hand on the earthbenders shoulder. It was only a small gesture, but she wasn´t able to do more in that moment. "And instead you decided to wreck things up completely? You´re an idiot. As I said you could have told me everything. You´re not capable of doing something, that makes me hate you. Spirits, Lin you´ve hurt me more than you can imagine and yet here I am, still caring for you. So please tell me. It might seem irrelevant now, but it started the whole mess and I need to know." 

"I... I can´t." Lin looked away. Kya couldn´t understand, why there was so much fear in her eyes. 

"You know I´m able to wait. I never rushed you. Take the time you need. Please just not decades again." Kya pulled her hand away and left Lin behind, as she walked away. This time Kya thought it won´t be forever. She was sure Lin would come to tell her. To be her friend again and that was all the waterbender needed. Now she would be able to rest and help the people in need properly. It was good that she hadn´t let Lin back out again. Kya had imagined it would be much worse, instead she felt relieved. 

But suddenly she was pulled back. Lin took both her hands and stood only inches away from Kya. "Lin what are you doing? You´re hurting me!" 

The grip around her hands loosened. "I can´t tell you who I had the crush on, because I still like her." Lin looked terrified, as she closed her eyes and moved closer to Kya. So slowly that Kya could have escaped, but she wasn´t able to move, not able to fully understand what Lin just said. She still liked her. Lin liked a woman. It couldn´t be...

Then Lins lips reached these of Kya and gave her a short and sweet kiss, before Lin backed away, but still holding the waterbenders hands. "I couldn´t loose you. You were so much more than just a friend. You still are." Never had Lin spoken so soft to anyone.

Kya hyperventilated. There were too many emotions. She always wanted Lin to be by her side, but always thought she could never have more than friendship. A part of her wanted to hold onto Lin and show her how much she loved her. Another part still couldn´t believed what happened. The biggest part felt anger. Anger towards herself, for letting Lin go, even though they felt the same. Anger towards Lin that she had let Kya go. Anger for Lin, because she thought a kiss would erase the last years and all the pain. More anger for herself that a part of her wanted to forget those years and grab Lin and just never let her go again. 

"You´re too late." Tears filled Kyas eyes as she freed herself from Lins grasp. They looked each other in the eyes one more time. "My heart can´t take to be abandoned by you again. Good bye, Lin." 

As Kya walked away, she felt how her heart was torn to pieces once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want them to just live happily ever after, but I think it needs more work and time and I also can´t imagine Kya to just forget everything and run into Lins arms. There´s still hope for them though :)

**Author's Note:**

> So, here is my first published fanfic. I have no idea, if I can write, but it´s fun anyway and I wanted to share it. Please tell me, if I should continue this story and thank you very much for reading this.


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